Full-Jacket Meddling
"My green jacket . . . " I was saying.
"That jacket is gray," she said.
And I wasn't inclined to argue. Because for four decades and change I've been losing arguments with women over color. (You say to-MAY-to, I say to-MAH-to; you say green, I say blue.)
Instead of arguing, I'd take a picture with the digital camera on my desk and email it to her. To make a long story short -- if it's not too late for that -- the flash didn't go off the first time. So I shot it again, downloaded the photos, checked for the best one and found that without flash, the jacket was gray. With flash, green.
I'm not trying to start a battle-of-the-sexes debate here, but I may have stumbled on a fundamental gender difference. What if men, for whatever reason, constantly see the world illuminated by a flash bulb, while women see it in ordinary hues? There could be a metaphor for the things that men look upon with some level of sentimentality while women don't. Maybe because they know that favorite sweatshirt stinks. 
Or it could be a serious gender gap, like the cat-fight Miller Lite commercial that offends men and women in equal numbers, but that men in open-minded generosity of spirit continue to watch to see if they're still offended every time.
Once we'd established, electronically, what color the jacket was, I could get back to the real question, which was what necktie I could wear with that jacket and a white shirt. She thought I should wear the brown one and I preferred the yellow one but it was OK because we were talking about the same tie.

Last Revised: 02.10.03    Publisher: Joseph Gus Fitzgerald